Bird's Don't Date They Mate
by Keith Richards Spermbank
Summary: Random Doctor Who fanfic


**Birds Don't Date, They Mate**

**Chapter One**

Emily ran through the TARDIS screaming. The Doctor came running out of the consol room to see what the matter was.

'Emily, what's all this screaming about?' he asked.

'Two birds out side holding wings!' she yelled still running around madly.

'That's ridiculous, birds don't hold wings,' he said, 'I think you've had one to many cheeseburgers again my dear Emily.'

Jess walked out of her room.

'What's she screaming about now?' she asked the Doctor.

'She reckons she saw two birds out side holding wings.'

'I knew she'd lose it one day.' said Jess with a sigh.

'I'll just let her continue, she'll exhaust herself out soon I expect.' said The Doctor, heading back out to the consol room. Jess followed.

'So where are we going now?' she asked.

'Hmm well I think we should wait until Emily has quieted down. We don't want to excite her more.'

Suddenly Emily stopped screaming. Everything went quiet.

'That doesn't sound right,' said The Doctor confused, 'I was expecting her to run around for at least another half an hour.'

'Maybe we should go see where she is.' said Jess.

They went searching for Emily through out the whole TARDIS. They finally found her. She was lying on the ground with a rather large bump appearing on her forehead.

'What happened to her?' asked Jess.

'By the looks of it I would say in panic she didn't look where she was going and hit her head on this metal rod.' said The Doctor.

'Well we can't leave her here' said Jess.

It took the two of them to lift her. The Doctor grabbed her feet and Jess took her top half. They carried her through the TARDIS. When they reached her room they threw her down on the bed.

'Should we just leave her now?' asked Jess.

'Yes,' said The Doctor, 'I expect she'll come round soon. In the meantime let's be on our way.'

Jess and The Doctor walked back into the consol room. The Doctor walked around the consol grinning and pushing all sorts of buttons. He pulled a lever and they were off. The TARDIS screeched as they reached their destination.

'Where are we going?' asked Jess.

'Somewhere I've been meaning to go for a very long time' said The Doctor still grinning.

Emily came staggering into the room.

'What happened,' she asked, 'and where are we?'

'For one you hit your head and have been unconscious for about 15 minutes. Secondly you'll see where we are all in good time' The Doctor explained.

'I'm hungry' said Emily.

'Can't you go without food for five minutes?' asked Jess.

'No, and besides I was going to get a couple of cheeseburgers when I saw those two birds.'

'Emily! Birds don't hold wings!' The Doctor exclaimed.

'But I saw them' Emily said tears welling up in her eyes.

'You were probably hallucinating from hunger, like that time you thought there was an army of Daleks in the basement' said The Doctor rolling his eyes.

'Are we actually going to do anything today?' asked Jess.

'No,' said The Doctor, 'we're going to wait until tomorrow. So you can do what ever you want, WITHIN the TARDIS today.'

'Fine,' said Jess, 'How about a drink of whiskey?'

'Sure' said The Doctor grinning.

'Oi, what about me?' asked Emily.

'Remember the time you had one of my chocolate liqueurs at Christmas? And how you fell of the chair immediately after eating it?' asked Jess.

'You had to bring that up didn't you,' said Emily looking annoyed, 'Can I have just one little drink?'

'ONE, one very small one,' said Jess, 'I'm not going to be responsible for any injuries you do yourself.'

They walked of to the games room. Jess pulled a bottle of the finest Irish whiskey from behind the bar. She got out two normal size glasses for her and The Doctor, and one small little shot glass for Emily. She poured the whiskey out. Emily immediately grabbed hers.

'Cheers!' she screamed. She drank the whiskey in one gulp.

'Emily no!' yelled Jess. Too late. Emily stared laughing drunkenly and then passed out. Once again The Doctor and Jess had to move Emily to her room. They sat her down on the bed and then returned to the games room.

'Sluante' said Jess as her and The Doctor sipped their whiskey.


End file.
